Never Fear: Sex Playlists


Q: “How do I make the perfect sex playlist?”

Music during sex is either really enriching or obnoxious for me. Or perhaps more obnoxious for my partners, as I love to sing and physically must if Carly Rae Jepsen is playing. My taste in music hasn’t changed since I was 14 years old, so having sex with me is, as an ex told me, basically skipping all the sad Nick Jonas songs. But you’re a person on a mission, so let’s strategize. I think playlist creation is easier when you plan ahead and use whatever speaks to your style. 

The first method is to choose songs based on a theme or tone by including full albums from the same artist or artists in the same genre. So even if each song isn’t THE sex song, there aren’t any tonal shifts — we aren’t swinging from Marian Hill to Boyz II Men to Jason Aldean. It’s more like sexy white noise. I recommend “Urban Flora” by Alina Baraz or “Feel Good” by The Internet.

The second option is to just choose songs you love (even then I would commit to either rowdy or soft music). A sex playlist song should make you feel good about yourself — happy, desirable and confident about what you want. Choosing songs which relate directly to your partner and relationship is also great criteria. I find that the classic sex songs make me laugh, but some people like them. And laughing during sex is not a bad thing. “Pony” by Ginuwine will always break a serious mood, but I relish the chance to wiggle my eyebrows and giggle with a partner. 

The third option is to let Spotify take the wheel. The advantage here is that since I don’t know the songs, I don’t feel insecure about my music choice. It’s ideal for a newer partner, or an old one who is tired of hearing the same Ariana Grande songs. Spotify play-lists are always heavy on the heteronormative tracks which is not always my jam, but it could be yours. 

Overall, don’t be afraid to let this process be as magical and interactive as the potential sex it might accompany. Ask your friends for help and do some late night dancing in your underwear — you got this!

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