Never Fear: Condoms


Condoms are not inherently heteronormative, just as penises and penis-shaped things are not heteronormative. This magical item is for queers, too! This is true for two vital reasons: gender and health. This may be repetitive for some, but womanhood is not based on physical parts. Trans and non-binary people (like me!) need respect and care of our bodies and identities. Always talk to partners about how they want to be touched and spoken to about their bodies. Some women have penises and they need condoms. It’s pretty simple. 

Secondarily, condoms are for sex toys. Due to unregulated markets, many cheap sex toys contain phthalates that are banned in children’s toys. If your toy is porous, sticky, or jelly-like, you should be using a condom regardless of STI status. The ecosystem of sexual organs is fragile to chemical off-gassing and degradation. But, condoms should also be used on pure-silicone, glass or metal as well when switching between you and your partner(s) to prevent STI transmission. A common issue in sex between two vaginas is the transfer of vaginal yeast and Bacterial Vaginosis (BV). Penises can participate in this transfer of bacteria, but are less affected (although you can get bacteria like thrush in your mouth) by the accompanying infections. It’s much sexier to put a condom on a strap-on mid-sex than harness-waddle over to our communal bathrooms to disinfect. And if  you’re putting it in an anus, glove up! It may sound obvious, but anus bacteria in a mouth or vagina can make a person sick. Porn does this all the time, and it stresses me the heck out. Condoms are not only queer-friendly, but necessary.

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